Time to Heal

positive thinking....

this idea seems to be overvalued in this culture.
yes, i have to admit that i admired it when i first encounter this "big smile"," look on the bright side" attitude.
just like food and wine in this country, things are so straight,uncomplicated, "bum!"
bookstores'shelves are filled with "self-help", books.
"be positive!", "turn the negative into positive",and "move on!"

but sometimes i feel tired when somebody asks me "how are you?' and i have to say" im fine" when im not really fine.

i lost a job a few days ago.
and i was told via e-mail.
a few days after i saw "up in the air"

mind you, it was a very nice, "appriciative" mail.
but i was shocked, and sad.
my friends tried to lighten me up, with all those "positiveness".
but i lost my confidence, lost some imcome source and im depressed.
as much as i appriciate my friends' positive "pep talk", i just cannot "click" my mind and move on.
i need some time to heal.

sometimes i wonder, can i just say, "no, im not doing well.". " im not really fine at all." ?
until, i restore the energy to "look on the bright side", and move on?
until then, can i be negative and wimpy ?
is being "loser" such a bad thing?